Silent Fools

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
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 Post subject: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:28 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:00 am
Posts: 11
ok, Rum Talk should be a lot of fun, so lets post some pirate jokes, or drunken guy jokes for that matter :p


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:31 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:00 am
Posts: 11
ok, one to start with:

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat."


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:17 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:00 am
Posts: 11
ok, another one :)

So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"


and while i'm on it:

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''

All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:41 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:00 am
Posts: 22
hahaha virus, you rock!


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:05 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:57 am
Posts: 0
lol virus it is yellow pants not brown...


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 1:20 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:00 am
Posts: 7
drunkenbob wrote:
lol virus it is yellow pants not brown...


nope its brown (he sh"t himself hehehe)


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 Post subject: Re: pirate jokes
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:56 am
Posts: 0
omg xD


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